Ahhhh life.....you sucketh this week.

The hubby has been gone this week doing Major-ish things. I've been holding down the fort with the kiddos which means I get to watch what I want on TV and sleep on the couch......ever vigilant for things that go bump in the night. He calls me every night which is really nice. What did we do in the days without cell phones I ask ya?? Anyway, there I was the other night. Sitting on the couch watching TV with my laptop in my lap and some goldfish crackers by my side. Waiting for him to call. When the phone rang I hopped on there with a very perky "Hey there baby-cakes!" We talked for awhile and then he says to me, "Listen, I have some bad/good news." I'm thinking he's going to tell me that they are being delayed and have to stay a couple of days longer. Ahhhh if only. He tells me that his number has come up and he is being deployed. The good news? He only has to go for around 8 months. Not 12 or 15.

I have now re-read that sentence a total of 5 times. I am trying to get my brain around it. Hmmm. Carrying on.....after he drops that bomb I sit there. Those goldfish crackers are no longer looking as yummy as they did a mere 5 minutes ago. What to say? We sit in silence for a bit. Both of us trying to absorb what this means.

This is a scenario that has played out on telephones.....emails.......face to face conversations...for 9 years now. The other night it was my turn to be all strong and supportive. I really really really didn't want to be. I wanted to ask if this could be a mistake. Or could he call someone and tell them no. Neither one being an option I asked him how he felt. He says he feels good, that it's his turn to go and when it's your turn to go, you go and that it will go fast and we have email and Skype and it will all be okay. Also he says it's not like he will be on the front lines or driving a tank like so many of our young men and women. In my heart I am saying that sure I know that and yeah that is such a great thing but you will be gone. Who will put their foot on mine right before we go to sleep? Who but he understands my love of mint chocolate chip ice cream? Who will I read MSNBC.com to at night? And don't forget the kids. They adore him. How will I tell them their father is going "over there." ??????? When we were about to hang up he asked me if I was okay and then he said he loved me very much. I told him I loved him too and that yes, I was okay. I know what it means to be a military wife. He said he would call me in the morning and we said goodbye. I laid on the couch and wondered what to think. No, I didn't enjoy any more goldfish crackers.

I told the kids yesterday. The oldest was strong. He may be over there as well soon.Yeah, not even thinking about that right now. Our 17 year old absorbed the news and went upstairs to be alone. The Boo-Bear sobbed in my arms. She asked me who would watch Sanford and Son with her while he was gone. Would he have to carry a gun. Would people be shooting at her daddy.

Another conversation women have been having for toooo many years now.

This my friends out in blogland is what military spouses do. We support. We pack suitcases. We worry and pray. We hold our children while they try and make sense of things. We walk around with the phone attached to our hip so we don't miss a phone call. We write letters full of everything is fine and yes, we are all okay. We hold down the fort and try to make a life full of change a little bit more constant.

Now it's my turn.
Someone pass the M&Ms.