Thursday, June 12, 2008

Military Spouse...a life

To be a military spouse is, at times, hard. There are the times you kiss your husband goodbye so that he can do a year away from you and the kids. There are the times you stay up late at night, worrying, because there is not enough money to pay the bills or put food on the table. (contrary to popular belief a military member is paid a pittance compared to their "real world" counterparts) There are the years spent away from your own mother and father. Holidays spent alone while your spouse is TDY. (a looooooooooooooooooong business trip away.) Times in front of the TV hoping to get a glimpse of the one you love most while you watch CNN report on the war. Then there are the times we must say goodbye to our dear friends due to a move. This week I had to say goodbye to Walker Jen. She is right now on a plane with her family. Headed back to the States. I will most likely never see her again and tonight, as I sit here alone because the hubby is 4 hours away and staying the night due to a Lt. Col leaving and they all need to have a big shindig for him, I feel just a little sad. In a week and a half I have to say goodbye to Walker Leigh. These two women have worked their way, most wonderfully, in my heart. We have created memories to last a lifetime. Now I have done this many times before. I've had to say goodbye to a plethora of women who have truly made my life better. Women I love and respect. Every time is hard. It would be easy to say never again. I just won't make girlfriends at the next's to hard to say goodbye.

Then I think of all the opportunities I would've missed if I acted on those feelings. There would've been no Bec or Amy H. or Amy R. or Treasa or Traci or Pat or Paige-ee or Jen or Leigh. I would've missed so much. So many nights staying up late, sharing secrets and laughing til my stomach hurt. The times these women have sat next to me and handed me tissue. They have hurt when I hurt. Laughed when I laughed. Celebrated when I celebrated. Been there for me.

I wonder if right now, somewhere in Ohio, there is a woman doing her dishes. Listening to her kids play in the family room. She may be looking out her window at the empty house across the street and praying for a friend to move in. Someone to share with and laugh with. Someone to have iced tea with on a hot summers day. Someone who doesn't judge, won't gossip about her, will love her through the thick and the thin. To her I say...I coming. My heart will be a little bruised but it's open and big enough for another girlfriend. See, I needs me some girlfriends. There is nothing like another woman sharing your life with you in just that special way. We need each other. It is not easy being a military spouse. We need others to walk the walk with us. To that woman in Ohio, I'll be there in just a few short weeks. Put the kettle on so we can get to know each other over a cuppa. To the women who have been in my life, if even for a short time..know that I think of you often and that I treasure the time we had together. Thanks for loving me just the way I am. Even knowing I would have to eventually say goodbye...I tell you this..

it was totally worth it.


Anonymous said...

You, my friend....are an awesome woman...with a big amazing woman who is blessed and who blesses.

As I read this post I kept thinking of the saying:

"Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold."


Granny said...

You made me cry! :) I'm so thankful there are military wives like yourself who allow those military husbands to do what they do, with the peace of mind that knowing that even though the life they've chosen is hard on their families, their wife is there to support them and hold the family together.

From my side of your blog, your life seems so interesting and exciting (and I know it is!) so thanks for sharing all you share with us.

Kim West said...

((hugs)) I know just how you feel. It can be so easy to just say "I will keep to myself at the next duty station" - but then we would loose out on friendship and a wonderful support system when our husbands are away. Good luck on your upcoming move, and the beauty of having to move now, is the internet, unlimited long distance (in the states) and webcams.

Chocolate Cat said...

Those treasured friends we make will be friends for a lifetime. Far better to have had the time with them than not and you will keep in touch, may not be often but that link will never be broken. Instead of feeling sad about the friends I have left behind I feel blessed that I have them. That woman in Ohio will be so so lucky to become your friend!!

mascanlon said...

What a lovely post and tribute to women's friendship all over the world. And thank you so much for all the sacrifices you and yours make to keep us all safe. I look forward to Ohio!

Leigh said...

Dangit girl, you made me cry!! I'm going to miss you so much that it hurts my heart. Even though there will be too many miles between us you are in my heart and my mind. And if you called in the middle of the night and said, "I need you." You know, I would get there! I know that we will see each other again........we were destiny. Love you.

marisa965 said...


I am Marisa and I am also a military wife living at Hunter Army Airfield, GA. I have so enjoyed your blog and will continue to do so.

Thank you for sharing your blog with us. I too am blessed with great friends and I think the world of them.

MIlitary wives we are a strong bunch. : )

Have a safe trip to Ohio! Marisa

P.S. You have a beautiful family! I love your quilts they are amazing!

Darlene said...

Beautiful sentiment - I'm a former military wife so I really do feel your pain.

"She's" waiting!

Anonymous said...

I hope you are wrong about not ever seeing these women again. I hope it happens sometime, somewhere. Make a date for a reunion, somewhere central, and do it every 5 years or so. You earned this.

I also hope that if ever your husband is sent to Washington state, that you will be in that house across the street from me. I think we could get into some serious troub, I mean fun. I quilt, too. We could fondle each other's fabric and maybe even share a scrap or two.

I feel sad for you as you and your friends go separate ways, but just know that there are more wonderful women awaiting your arrivals in your next town. And do think about a reunion sometime down the road with your Korean sistahs.

Leigh said...

Yes...........a reunion tour!? I feel it coming........

buffi said...

The friendships are one of the best and worst part of military life, aren't they? One of my best friends in the whole wide world I met while we were stationed in England. I miss her a lot. We haven't been stationed together in six years, but we have seen each other several times and we talk on the phone. A LOT.

I know for a fact that there are some great women in Ohio who will treasure your friendship. That's another base I made some good friends.

Hopefully, you'll be back down this way and we can get together (Jen will be just an hour from me!)

Hang in there!

Mary Johnson said...

We move frequently too but I'm not one for making a lot of friends...I have been sad when we've left family behind (especially my boys!) but I'm always excited by being in a new place.

I hope you find your new friend!

Ms. Jan said...

I've never been a military kid or wife, but I have moved four times as an adult to a place where I didn't know a soul, so I feel your pain and passion. The girlfriends we make when we are alone somewhere are so special, and while we may lose touch with them over the years, they have indeed touched our souls and will be there forever.
I envy the lucky gals in Ohio who will be your next new friends.

Have a safe and easy journey!