Making some crack.

There is nothing like making your kids some crack on a cold winters day! Don't worry mommas. This will not have the cops at your door. This is the good crack! When I was in Korea Jen made this stuff for Leigh and I. One of us, as we were stuffing our mouths (seriously! Could not get enough in there) said "Man! This stuff is like crack!" Nirvana my friends. Simply nirvana. A whole lotta crack was made in Korea!!
I wrote the Jen and Leigh to get their okay to share. We Ya-Ya's value keeping certain things in the vault.....a good cosmo.....secrets.....the crack recipe....you get the idea. As soon as I got the okay I made up a big ole' batch to share with you dear int-netz. :)

Let us get started. Round up this bunch of stuff. Each of us does our crack a little differently. I use M&M's, popcorn, white chips, small marshmallows, two bags of buttered popcorn and a dollop of Crisco. You can add walnuts, peanuts, small pretzels, capn' crunch with crunch berries, anything you like. This is just what I like in mine. Go crazy if ya wanna!! As soon as you have everything assembled take a moment to grab a dixie cup and fill it halfway with some M&Ms. These are for keeping your strength up as you slave away in the kitchen. Promptly put 4 in your mouth and roll your eyes to the heavens then have a couple more to fortify yourself for the task at hand.Next pop the bags of popcorn and put them in the biggest bowl or roasting pan you have.Make sure to take out all the un-popped corn. Believe me, you don't want to be watching CSI (Las Vegas of course! Hi Lise!!!) enjoying your crack when you bite down on a kernel and break a tooth. Not. Fun.Okay, once you have both bags of popcorn popped and de-kernaled pour the bag of M&M's over it. Right here is when I got distracted by memories of dinner parties at Leigh's house and thought about who called it crack first then thought about how Whitney Houston said "Crack is whack." Found this very funny. Looked at the dog sleeping in the sewing room and started to sing I Will Always Love You to her. Watched her not budge. See, not budging. She does not appreciate me when I am being a lyrical gangster.Once you finish singing Whitney Houston songs add the bag of marshmallows to the mix. You can add as much or as little as you want. I added a little more then half a bag only because the kiddos in my house need a little hot cocoa in the morning topped with these babies to get them a-movin in the morning.Almost finished! Take a dollop of shortening...how much is a dollop you ask?? Ummmmm about this much...Add the dollop to the microwave-safe dish of white chips. You are going to put this in the microwave in increments of 35 seconds. Stir in between. It should take about 4 times til it looks like thick soup.Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Once you get it all soft and liquidy you pour it over your mixture and stir it up well. Make sure every little bit gets coated. Then stick it in the fridge for about 20 minutes. Take it out and put it in a big ziplock freezer bag or a container of some sort. Put a little in a bowl for yourself and make a cup of coffee. Sit down on the couch and fire up the ole' Internet. Read some blogs and tell yourself that life is good.I was all set to do just that when the phone rang. It was the school informing me that the throwing up portion of The B00-Bears day was about to commence. Could I please come and get her as they would like to forgo that particular pleasure today.

heh.