Thursday, November 20, 2008

Why I need a treadmill for Christmas....

The other day my hubby asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I had been awaiting for just this opportunity and knew without a doubt what to say.."I want a treadmill! There is one on sale at the BX!! Go!! Get it now!!" He looked at me and said "No way! That is so unromantic! The guys at work will say hey man what did you get your wife for Christmas and when I say a treadmill they'll all look at me like I'm crazy!" He said for me to think of something else. I told him to lie. Tell the guys he got me a tennis bracelet or something. I want a treadmill. I need one int-netz!! Let me tell you why........

The backs of my knees have become BFFs with my bottom. They get together every day for a little chit chat. I don't want this friendship to continue. Oh, and last night as I was drifting off to sleep"" The front of my knees were totally telling my boobs to "Come On Down!" Yeah. They were. I heard them trying to entice the girls downward.

Dawns' Knees: "Zello my pretties." "Why dun't ze come down here for ze par-tay!!" "Haw-Haw!" (who knew my knees sounded just like Lumiere from Beauty and the Beast??!)

The Girls: "Oh no!! We couldn't! We must stay where we are!"

My Crafty French Knees: "Haw Haw!" "You are loosing ze battle to graVIty Mon Sveets!" "Ze Madmoiselle is a viny bab-ee at 6 in ze ay-yem. She has long zince given up ze dreaded runnings around" "Haw Haw!"

The Girls: "Weeeeeell maybe we could come on down there for just a bit"

My Gigolo French Knees: "Ah-Ha!" "Zou hast fallen under our maNEE spells." "Ve are avaiting your arrivals with ze baited breaths!"

That is about the time I sat up and told everyone to go to sleep and that I was getting that treadmill dog-nabbit! and that they would all be sorry they ever conspired against me!

I now need to go and formulate my plan of attack on the Capt. He must be made to see that a treadmill is EXTREMELY ROMANTIC! Time is of the essence as I can hear "The Girls" giggling at my Knees. The floozies!


Lauren The Artist said...

Treadmill, on sale, + a little sumpin' from ice dot com should do you just fine! ~jen~

Leigh said...

YEAH! He could get you BOTH! Tell him that if he doesn't give you one for Christmas that you are going to buy it romantic is that!

Anonymous said...

A treadmill is very romantic!!!Tell him to think about your toned and trim body, that should put him on the mood!

Jodi said...

I am seriously ROFLOL! How do you come up with this stuff? Tell your girls under no circumstances are they allowed to fratinize with your knees! LOL

And I got a treadmill a few years ago. They are worth it. I just need to talk myself into getting back on mine. :)

blue hose said...

You never cease to amaze me and provide a laugh. Perhaps a picture of your beautiful face on a gorgeous magazine body with a short note of what might be in store for the Cap'n if he gets you what you want?