Monday, September 29, 2008

Our new church search....

Every time we move to a new place we have to do the normal "findy" things. We have to find where the grocery store is...Walmart...Target...the mall (hallelujah chorus)...a doctor....a dentist...the fabric get the idea. After the boxes are unpacked and my mind is settled the biggest (read hardest) search begins. We need to find us a church. It is not as easy as it sounds. There are things to take into account when one searches for a church. Mainly, can we walk in and feel welcome. There have been times that we have walked into a new church and told we can sit in the back...right chere' the kitchen. Or I hear "Oh no she i-n't!" as my hubby takes me to the front pew all large and in charge while I cringe and try not to look at any of the weaves(for those as white as me a weave is fake hair mixed in with real hair. Ethnic lesson 101 is now complete.) a bristling. Sigh. This is why I send the Capt out on reconnaissance first. He has been getting up on Sundays, looking mighty fine in a suit and tie, to search out The One for us. If he likes it then the next Sunday I get up, put on the church perfume and go check it out. Oh boy. We've been to a couple of churches since we've been here. Wanna hear about em?? Okay.

First up is the Small Church. We walked in and people were really nice. They sat us down and much hand-shaking ensued. I noticed right off that there were no "Zulu's" and that my hubby was a source of great interest. He, of course, was oblivious as he was getting his clap on and singing as loud as possible. Shy? He ain't. After Praise and Worship the pastor came out. No lie you guys...he sounded just like Ben Stein. Next!

The Dome Church. This church had a really neat dome on it. It had a really nice sign out front with "The Time Is Nigh!" on it. We walked in and the Pastor came right over to greet us. He was really nice. Much hand-shaking was had as we were walked to our seats. They sat us behind what I like to call The Committee. You guys all know what I am talking about. Every church has em. Usually they sit in threes or fours. Usually they are women. These ladies were a committee of three. I listened to them talk about everyone who came in. Everyone. No one was safe and these ladies had their fingers on the pulse of the church. They knew it all and now? so did I. There was much "Bless her/his hearting" and some "Oh we should pray for her cause......." All while they smiled and waved at those they were talking about.
Praise and worship started soon after. We stood up to sing and some promise was shown. We started to get our clap on and do the pew sway. This is about the time it happened. Two ladies broke out some flags and started walking around the church waving them. Boo-Bear says to me "what are they doing momma??" I had no idea but was willing to go with it for awhile. Then the pastor comes out and a conch. What. The. Heck. Scared the crap out of Boo-Bear. She got this wild look in her eyes and says to me "I do not like this place." Middle Daughter and I got the giggles...this did not go over well with the Capt. Church is a place of reverence and giggles are not allowed. I couldn't help it.

Third and last church was today's. It had everything. The singing was great. No conch blowing. People were friendly. There was a nice mixture of all kinds of people. The message was wonderful. The pastor was very sincere and funny. Best of all?? They have a Starbucks in the foyer. SCORE!!! We all left happy. I was even humming the last song we sang. The hubby was feeling pretty good about the whole thing. After all the drama we had in Korea with the church there I was feeling like calling the whole thing off. The hubby...not so much. He likes to be in church on Sunday. With me sitting right there beside him. Smiling. Today it seemed like it just might happen again. At least until someone blows in a conch.


blue hose said...

There's always a church in Houston waiting for you to come back! We miss you down here, but are glad to hear things are going ok in your corner of the world.

Anonymous said...

I have just read your post on finding a church and just cracked up laughing. I know exactly what you mean about finding a church home. You are one funny lady! I really enjoy your writing. You should consider writing a humorous column like Erma Bombeck.

Mary Johnson said...

I'm so bad - my favorite church is an empty one where I can say some quiet prayers all by myself.

There's a beautiful Basilica here in Minneapolis that I go to frequently but I've only been to Mass once.

My least favorite part about moving is finding new doctors and dentists!

Lauren The Artist said...

I hope you find something you all like and I DEFINITELY hope it goes better than ... that previous church. ~jen~

Chocolate Cat said...

How wonderful that you have found a church that suits you (an added bonus to be sure with the Starbucks in the foyer!!). Thank you for the entertaining tale of a very serious subject. I laughed out loud as I imagined each church visit!! The other thing I always find hard to find in a move is a good hairdresser!!