Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Road trip talk...

On the way home from the Rents house the other day my daughter asked me, after a long lull in conversation, she asked me what I thought about gay marriage. Ummmmmmmm hmmmmmmmm. Then she says to me "I mean we are Christians and I know what the Bible says but what do You think mom??" Really?? That's what she was thinking about for the past twenty minutes??!

How to answer.
What DO I think anyway?
Oh boy.

She sat there and waited for me to answer. She was sure that it would be interesting cause she could tell I was struggling. After much hemming and hawing cause I wanted to get it right she says to me "Just tell me what you really think."

So I did.

I told her that I felt it was way outside of my job description to judge someone else. Just a few short years ago it was illegal for my hubby and I to be married. Inter-racial couples were very very much a no-no. I told her that I know as a Christian what we are told to feel but for me, myself, I wasn't sure how I felt about it. I figured the Big-Guy-Upstairs had the whole thing under control and if people could be as happy I was with her father...well then who was I to point a finger and say no? There is so much unhappiness in the world and people can be really mean. I felt is WAS part of my job description to not be. Then I sang Kum-By-Ya-My-Lord and broke out my t-shirt with the rainbows on it.

She smiled at me and said "Yeah, I kinda thought you felt that way."

Ummmmmmmm Hello?!?!?!?!?!

This is totally why I do not give out my blog address to people I go to church with. They would look at me in shock if they knew how I truly felt about some things.
The only reason I even wrote about it here is cause I was reading some blogs today from people who live in California. They are soon to vote on Proposition 8. It is a hot topic right now.
My question is this....did I tell her the right thing? How would you have handled it int-nets?? Would you have changed the subject?? Do you agree with what I said or do you think I was way off base?? I really want to know.

Give me a good-ole talk about sex any day!!!


Leigh said...

That is a big topic for your daughter to ponder. She is very intelligent and will do something great in the world.
That is a tough subject, but you handled it perfect. I'm not sure what I think about it. The world is changing so much and fast.

Jenna said...

I would say that I believe what you believe. I know it's a hard question to answer! So glad that you got through it. Hope your Daddy is feeling much better! Sending some prayers your way!

Anonymous said...

Hard topics for our kids to have to ponder through...usually kids take on their parents beliefs...then they grow up and develop minds of their own. I am proud of the men my sons have grown up to be~completely as different as day and night, you would never know they were brothers in looks nor in beliefs.


Unknown said...

WOW, what a topic for your Daughter to bring up. I haven't read your blog before so don't know how old she is.
I bet this has come up at school or something. But you handled it just right. I have had some good gay friends, couples and if this makes them happy, who are we to keep them from their own lifestyle.
God made us the way we are.

Anonymous said...

You answered very honestly. I love how you included the piece about a few years ago it was illegal for you and your husband to marry. It's the same, but different. I think you handled it very well. I feel the same as you, and I hope that when/if I get that question from my kids, who are a bit older than your daughter, that I'll be able to answer as openly and honestly as you. Good job!

Granny said...

Chad and I were talking the other day and he said "mom, in 10 or 20 years, same sex marriage will be accepted and not even be an issue but our economy, a weak military, corrupt politicians and terrorists can ruin our nation. It's pretty true -- some things we fight vehemently against and things we should be more involved with just seem to be too much trouble to fight.

I think you handled it just fine. Having a real life example of something that could not have been in a previous generation was perfect!

Mary Johnson said...

Good answer!

I think that under civil law EVERYONE should have the same rights and protection so I believe that gays should be allowed to be married by the state.

Having said that, I also believe that religious groups should be allowed to decide NOT to marry same sex couples in their churches if that's what they believe.

As a Catholic, I'm not allowed to remarry in the church without an annulment (a whole other thing I have an issue with on my part) but I was allowed to get remarried after my divorce by the state.

Tracey in CT said...

I think that you did a great job giving her an honest answer. You also related it to something she could understand by bringing your own experiences into it.

And isn't it a good feeling to know that your kids are thinking seriously about things that they hear, and that they value your opinion enough to care about what you think?

You did great. Give yourself a great big hug and enjoy a cuppa.

Anonymous said...

Let them get married and divorced too! Let them have to split everything down the middle and let them fight for custody of their children and let them fight over who keeps the friends. Pretty soon the gays will be the ones asking for NO MARRIAGES!

Shasta Matova said...

You should definitely tell her the truth about how you feel. I find that when a kid is a teenager, that is when they need their parents - to learn about morals and values.

My daughter asked me also - a couple of her school teachers are gay.

I wanted to tell her my opinion about EVERY world issue - just so she could get to hear my opinion (and of course believe and be indoctrinated) before she heard from anyone else!

My Thanh said...

Man, that must have been a toughie! There's so much intolerance in the world. I, too, think we should all have a chance to be happy.

mascanlon said...

Thank you so much for your honesty. My daughter and her partner have been together 9 yrs now. They love each other very much and are so happy. On March 25th, my daughter (Mama)gave birth to my granddaughter. She is beautiful and beloved by us all. Her Mommy has to adopt her to [protect her rights to her most beloved child. They live in Ca, I am praying my neighbors can see that my daughter and her partner are no threat to their marriage.I am praying my neighbors are just like you!