Wednesday, May 30, 2007

My R.N. Adventures

Today I got to sub for the school RN. What a great time I had!!!! The nurse came in briefly to give me the rundown on all the kids that come in daily for their meds. No problem. Then we got to the Epi-pens. PROBLEM!!! She tells me she doesn't think I will have any problems but just in case I do I MUST JAB THEM IN THE FAT OF THE LEG LIKE ALL HOLY HELL HAS BROKEN LOOSE!!! Then I would run screaming down the hallway. :)
The day started off slow. The word got around that a new sub was in town. Many boo-boos started apearing. Many band-aids and ice cubes for them to put on bruises that were so microscopic I had to squint to see them and still for half I just gave up and pretended they had a bruise. I had two come in with tears. They got a dose of hugs and an ice cube. Then it happened...the moment I waited for all morning long. I had an E-MER-GEN-CY! Yep a real live emergency!!! I had a kid with a major nose-bleed! I tell ya Florence Nightingale ain't got nothing on me!!!! I swooped down on the poor unsuspecting patient. I grabbed him up...I think my eyes were twinkling and I may have giggled...I put on rubber gloves and cleaned him up. The playground monitor was stunned. She'd never seen anything like it. I was superwoman in cute capris and lovely sandals. Then I called his grandmother to come and get him. I made him lay down on my couch...cause by now I was a real live RN and the couch was MINE!!!!!! As he left it happened again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got a torn up knee from one of our pre-schoolers. It was fabulous. I again swooped in and grabbed rubber gloves. I made her teacher give me room, for you see the patient needed air and I needed room in case I had to suture something. Sadly no sutures were needed but I did get to bandage her all up. I am sure that at bath time tonight her mother will look at this mass bandage and wonder what in God's name the nurse was thinking about! I may have used a whole roll of tape and about a box of bandages.
All in all I think I did a fine job and I am awaiting word from the Mayo clinic. I am sure that since I did such a wonderful job I will be asked to bypass school and become a Doctor.
So folks from this day forth.....The Doctor Is In.


Lauren The Artist said...

Thats Hi-larry-us! I'm glad the kids were ok. I'm really glad you didnt have to do the epi-pen thing. Pobb's gets nose-bleeds like the one you described. It freaks his class out pretty badly. Sure, I probably should have warned his teacher... but my way was fun too. :) Looks like you may have a calling as a nurse!


Granny said...

Sounds like you did a fantastic job. Just a little blood (even from a chicken in a package at the grocery store) sends me running to the bathroom so you're definitely a hero in my book.

QuiltingFitzy said...

Fantastic post, caught me right up in your heroics!!

Beemoosie said...

Too Funny!!! It all shows you care, honey!!

Jenna said...

Glad that Jenna didn't have any problems!! I'm not sure what you would have done in her case!!

Anonymous said...

My Darling Daughter, You make me laugh out loud!!!!!!!!!! God gave me such a gift when He gave me you. Now talk to the captain and tell him I NEED YOU TO COME HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love Grandma A GoGo

Tracey @ozcountryquiltingmum said...

Dag of a girl....imagine the Captain's hoping you meet him in one of those little white nurses uniforms when he gets home!! Tracey