Saturday, May 26, 2007

The SEVENTH time is the charm?????

Okay, it is official. My 7th time trying weight watchers has been declared a bust. My gosh. How hard can it be for a grown #$# woman to lose 2 pounds a week???! In my case it is turning out to be pretty hard. In my defense the world is conspiring against me. Let me explain...

1. There is a Duncan Donuts down the street. Before I got a hold of myself and said that 2007 is my year to be getting all healthy and stuff I was friends with the ladies who work the counter. Since I live in Korea they speak no English and I speak no Korean but I counted them as two of my favorite people. Annnnnd I just know they love me to pieces cause fwee who wouldn't?? How can I break up with them. What will happen to the whole Duncan Donuts organization??! It must be done. I must be firm!!

2. There is a lot of great stuff out there! I mean come on people!!! Ice Cream!!! Cho-co-late!! CAPTAIN CRUNCH WITH CRUNCHBERRIES!!!

3. I think my inner woman is taking over like that chick with the dual personalities on Hero's. She has these talks with me. Tells me I give my hubby something to hold onto at night and how I can keep him warm in case we get 70 inches of snow and the heater goes out. Sometimes she gets really sneaky and whispers in my ear while I am sleeping, all the while disguising her voice to sound like Vin Diesel, how a woman with a little meat on her bones is sexy and how Vin likes em' healthy baby!

SHEESH!!!! Today I went through the fridge while I was cleaning house and did an Oprah. I did a stern talking to myself and got rid of anything that remotely looked like it had some calories in it. I told myself that I was going to start walking every morning and that I wasn't going to wait til summer. That by the time the Capt comes home he will be so in awe of my Angelina-Joilieness that he will be drooling when he gets off of the plane. Uh-Oh...there goes that crazy inner woman again!!! She is saying, "But it's Saturday! No one starts healthy living on a Saturday. You gotta start on a Monday. And Monday is a holiday. You may as well start next Monday." She's a sly one!!! But a woman's gotta do what a woman's gotta do so I grabbed my inner woman by the collar and yelled, "Back of beyotch!!!!" and I sent her upstairs to Pretty Paige from the 5th floor. She is about 5'8, all legs and weighs maybe 110 soaking wet. My inner woman can go and talk to her for awhile!!! Sorry Pretty Paige From the 5th Floor but it's every woman for herself over here!!! heeheehee
Here is my before picture...taken at Walker Leigh's house the other night at her fabulously fun American Idol Finale' party. (I'll blog on that later tonight)

I will let you all resume your normal lives.


Lauren The Artist said...

Your total Angelina-Jolie-hotness was almost distracting me... then I noticed you were wearing an Idol badge for a gal who wasn't even in the finale! I hope you've come to terms with this denial. :) Go Jordin!!!


Anonymous said...

You are nuts!!! Pretty Paige isn't so pretty before she puts her face on. You'll probably need to add about 20 pounds onto my butt to be accurate! I must have come to the door during naptime today. I left a note about joining us for few ribs on the grill...because who starts eating healthy on the weekend??? Paige

Jenna said...

I think that you'll be a STRONG woman and let go of that demon inner voice!! You can do this!! I know it! Now I have to work on my inner demon voice

Jodi said...

You are so cute!

We will all be cheering you on!

Tracey @ozcountryquiltingmum said...

Rightio, that deserves an email! Talk soon, -oh, and you look so happy!

Anonymous said...

Come and join us over at Best of all, it is free! Woo Hoo! I have lost 25 pounds so far.

Lillian in Waegwan

Rebekah said...

You are BEAUTIFUL! I miss your smiling face!