Movie Review

Saw the movie Transformers tonight with the kiddos. Here in Korea it came out yesterday. Thought you guys in the States might like to know if it's good or not. I have 4 words for you all.....


GREATEST...MOVIE....EVER....MADE!!!!!!!!!!!

The kiddos and I loved it!!! The son and Middle Daughters best friend have no finger nails left!! You will love love love this movie!!!!
Go get in line now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!What are you still doing home???!!!!!

SEE IT!!!!

A letter of confession to my mother.......

I am the oldest and only girl in my family of 6. I have three younger brothers. The 4 of us are so different I don't know how my mom coped when we were growing up. I was cleaning my house thinking about them and wondering how my mom seemed to love us all in equal measures when it hit me. In every family there is a Golden Child. You all know what I am talking about. The one who can do no wrong. Who excels at everything. Has flawless features....ect ect ect
Well I am thinking it should be me. And since I know exactly how many grey hairs I put on my mothers head I was also thinking I may need a little leverage. So here is an open letter to my mom...trying to tip the scales in my favor. Ahem..
Dear Mom,
I am writing to tell you of my deepest desire. I wish to be the Golden Child in the family. I know, I know, you are thinking back to my wild youth. But wait!!! There are things about the boys you don't know!!! I feel in the interest of fairness, before you judge us, you should know them. (insert diabolical laughter) Your oldest son, the one we call the Corporate Man is actually the head of a drug cartel. Yep. I know it's hard to believe. He only had the twins and sweet Valerie as a smokescreen. He figured we'd be so dazzled by their cuteness we'd overlook a few things. He is a drug lord. His street name is actually Fuzzy Navel. And your middle son...the Free Spirit of the bunch is his muscle. Uh-huh. Don't let the sweet disposition fool you. Many an unsuspecting person is at the bottom of Lake Erie due to him. The tattoos he got are actually a map. He knows that eventually Fuzzy Navel will get caught and he is having the Chicago Jail Escape Route slowly tattooed over his body so he can go in and set him free. Where do you think the show Prison Break came up with the idea?? His street name is Melodious Maniac. I get shivers just typing that name. He is the scourge of all Illinois. Oldest brother just has to snap and the Melodious Maniac is sent out to dispense justice and collect on long overdue bribe money. Youngest son is the money man behind them. All those computers you bought for him?? Well that's how he keeps track of their drug laundering schemes. His street name is Mole in the Hole. In fact he is down there right now getting together a meeting of the minds.
I have another confession for you, dear Mother of ours. All those times you thought I was sneaking around trying to see my one true love?? Well they actually made me do those things. See if I was in trouble all of the time you wouldn't look to closely at them. Even in grade school our little Fuzzy Navel was busy getting his gang in order. So you see it wasn't my fault. I actually wanted to be good but THEY wouldn't let me.
I am going to give you a moment to collect yourself. I know all of this information is hard to take in at once. I just couldn't hold it in anymore. This is why I think you should love me the most. Take your time making your decision. I will wait an eternity for you.
All my love,
The Innocent One.

To my brothers................... BOO-YA BOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Mingle² - Online Dating

I got a G rating for my blog. SIGH. Big sigh. They found one cuss word, Hell. I am so white-bread it's scary.

A Confession...ssshhhhhhhh

I am thinking about having an affair. There. I said it. Yes I did. I have been lonely to long. I met a man a long time ago..his name was B. Enandjerrys. He was so exotic. He was my heart song. The air that I breath. The wind beneath my wings. Here...see his picture..



Who can resist him???? Not I, I say! Not I! He made promises to me....









Passion!








Decadence!








I am trying to resist him!!!! My mind is screaming, "Think about the Capt!!" My abs are yelling..."WE WANT TO LOOK LIKE JESSICA ALBA!!" But my traitorous lips are saying......"yummy!!!"
This is all the fault of my husband! Yes Kareem! You!!! If you were here right now I could be faithful, my vows not tested nearly beyond my endurance.
SIGH!!! What's a woman to do??
heeheehee!!!!

What I did this morning....

Wanna know what I do in the mornings??? Suuuuuuuure ya do! Okay, I will take you on a virtual mind trip in the life of me...

1. Wake up lazy son cause he has to leave for work in 30 minutes.
2. Wake up Boo-Bear cause she has summer school. ( summer school is more like camp here and by golly it gets her out of my hair for 3 hours in the morning so she is going!!)
3. Yell at lazy son and tell him at the top of my lungs that he can not miss a day of work three days into the job.
4. Yell at Boo-Bear that she does not have a stomach ache and she is going to summer school and she is not going to miss a day three days into it!
5. Close my eyes and rub the bridge of my nose and ponder why did we decide to have those two!! I know why...................it was the Capt's fault!! He cannot resist my wiles and loves to see me barefoot and pregnant!
6. Discuss with Boo-Bear why she cannot have my house key. See I have to drive The Son to work every morning. Usually Middle Daughter is here to get Boo-Bear out the door but last night she stayed the night at her BFF's house to eat ice cream and ponder the meaning of love. Boo Bear told me she could stay in the house for the 20 minutes til school started and then lock the door on her own. Unh-Unh! I scooted her over to her friends house and off to the gym we went. The Son works at the gym and as soon as I see him in I can get my workout on. I am trying to get Jessica Alba abs.
Okay, on with the morning...
7. Get to the gym and do my two miles on the treadmill.
8. Sign up for a personal trainer to spend a couple of hours with me so he can tell me what the heck I should do to get afore-mentioned Jessica Alba abs.
9. Go in the ladies locker room and look at my abs in the mirror.
10. Decide mirror must be broken.
11. Go home.
12. Manage to not run down any sweet little Ajimah's .
13. Have toast and pretend it is a Rootie Tootie Fresh and Fruity from IHOP.
14. Sit on the computer and blog.
All this before 10am. I still have to get Boo-Bear home, run up to spend lunch with The Son, clean the house, go grocery shopping and buy hair color to color my hair. (Saw a few grey hairs in the Mirror Of Lies at the gym)
How do you spend your mornings???

These are the days of our lives.....

And so it's done. The young man who captured my daughters heart, truly, for the first time is gone. He left this morning with his family to move back to the states. I can't begin to tell you how tragic it all was. They went last night to get pictures made so that they could always remember each other. This morning he came and got her so she could see him off in his cab. He held her, kissed her gently and then was gone. She came back in the house, got in bed with me and I held her. Boo-Bear woke up (never one to miss drama that one!) and got in bed too. The three Owens women, together, giving comfort.
I swear I'm gonna write a book one of these days!
Anyway, her IPod is loaded with sad love songs, I am picking up chocolate for her tomorrow and she has her friends today to help her through. I told her to cherish this memory. It will be a sweet one that she can take out later and smile about. Not to much smiling going on at the moment. If the love of my life is reading this and having a coniption seeing his baby holding the hand of another guy...weellllllllllllll what can I say?? :) This is what happens when you sign up to take a class halfway around the world and leave me to run over little Ajimahs and deal with the growing pains of two teens ALONE!!!!! Ahem, I am sorry to the masses who had to read that last bit. I am not bitter...nope....NOT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I swear that man of mine better come home with jewelry!
night everyone!
:) heehee

Summer Hire...

Today was "The Sons" first day of work. He got picked up to do summer hire on base. I dropped him off at a big building on another base, all the kids who got picked met there first. The bosses all showed up and took everyone to work after a quick briefing..this is an Army post after all and nothing happens without a briefing. I can hear you saying to yourself "well, so far so good." Nope, nothing here at Chez' Owens is that easy. The son sat...and sat...and waited...and waited...for two hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, my son sat there without complaint for two hours waiting for someone to pick him up! I still can't get my mind around it. I asked him if he felt weird sitting there while everyone else had been picked up and did he ask anyone anything. He said he figured that eventually someone would come and get him. This is why we are making sure he gets a diploma in one hand and a wife in another! A person did finally come and get him. The job he was tasked for doesn't open on Monday or Tuesday (ya think they would'a thought of that) so they took him to another base and have him working in the gym. He's pretty happy about that. He gets to hand out towels and locker keys all while watching TV and listening to his MP3 player.
He got home around 6pm. Tired and hungry. I had his favorite dinner waiting for him and I even made home made ice cream. He sat, wolfed the food down and then said he was going out for the night. SIGH! I got about 5 sentences out of him before he took off. He woke up this morning wonderfully chipper...................NOT!!!!! You'd think the kid had been working 7 days a week or something!!!
So my son is gainfully employed. This is me...................... :)

Update on my life...SIGH

So in the past two days I've hit a little old Korean lady, my phone line went bust and our computer got a virus and we lost the whole kit and kaboodle. Wait, I'm not done with all my happiness and joy...I've been to see lawyers, had a General inquire as to the status of my troubles, had two Colonels and a Capt pick me up in a car and take me to a hospital to see the family of the Korean lady and I had to go to two police stations. I now know everything there is to know about what happens to you when you get in an accident involving a pedestrian in another country. Did I mention that my husband is a zillion miles away lolling about in a private hotel room. DID I!!!??? HUH??!!! DID YOU ALL KNOW THAT AND UNDERSTAND THE EXTENT OF MY STRESS???????????????????????????????????????????? So what does one do when they are faced with the events of the last two days. Well if you are the daughter of my mother you tell yourself...."Self, get up and get this dealt with!!! You come from hardy stock and there will be no laying about in bed with a box of tissue and a gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream!!! Remember you are your mothers daughter and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound!!!!!!" Plus I figured that the Capt would be highly impressed with my being able to handle things and it would get me many kisses on his return. :) Always thinking!!!

Seriously, the little Korean grandmother is doing fine. She is still in ICU and had to undergo surgery but her family was extremely kind to me when I met with them yesterday. The Korean people have proved to me time and time again that they are full of grace and patience. The daughter even told me that they were worried about how I was feeling. There is a lesson there I tell you!! I told her how badly I felt that this happened and she was just wonderful. Of course I had her hand in a death grip and I was shaking and yelling "PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!!!" I am a people pleaser to the end. :) Also, the Capt is an Air Force man and we are on an Army post with all the Army people handling this. They have gone above and beyond trying to help me and explain every process. As soon as I say my husband is away they dig right in and help. It just goes to show people that when one of their own is in trouble you don't worry about who is with what branch of service you just roll up your sleeves and help. There have also been, what I like to call, Movers and Shakers from the Capts job that have come and helped me deal with this. I have never been so proud to be a part of this military family. At no time was I alone. My kiddos even jumped in. I get all teary and tingly when I think about it. Last night after everything was said and done my middle daughter came to sit beside the couch where I was laying down and rubbed my back. That's the last thing I remember til this morning. I slept like a baby. And let's not forget Walker Jen and Rob. When I got back to Walker Jen's house after I had to go and meet with the family (Walker Rob came with so I would not feel so alone) I had a piece of cheesecake waiting for me with the best iced coffee I have ever had. She sat and listened to me ramble for a good while, just quietly giving me support. She even invited us over for dinner the night before so I wouldn't be alone. Even our gorgeous Paige from the 4th floor has been there. We are going up to her place tonight for taco's and some wine and today she came by with some Godiva. Can I tell you that I just love friends! They are the back bone to us spouses when hard times hit and our hubby's are away. Thank you to all my Internet buddies who have sent words of support and prayers and good thoughts. You guys are the bestest!!!

I think everything is going to be okay. My part in it is pretty much done. In Korea there is no 100% fault. Yes she ran out in front of me but I am the one with the insurance so I will be the one to pay. I gotta tell you I feel so bad I don't even care. My insurance has contacted the family and she will be well taken care of...something I am really happy with.
The phone will be fixed tomorrow and as you can see my Internet is up and running. The hubby and I have been in contact about 40 times a day. It's hard for my Capt to not be here taking care of things and being in control of the situation. If he is anything he is a buffer from all the nastiness out there for me and our kiddos. Sorry about the long ramble..my thoughts are all over the place today. But we are good here. I'm just thankful it wasn't worse and that everyone is okay and my girls are sleeping well with no nightmares. :)

Oh, Walker Jen's mom is coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I even get to tag along a bit. This next week should be a lot of fun...as long as Walker Jen does the driving!!!

I'm off to tacos!! Bye everyone!!

(drive safe)

A dark day at Chez' Owens

I tried to go the Osan yesterday with the kiddos. They each got to bring one friend and we've been saving our pennies for this trip. Well, no go. Our bus, the one that takes us to another bus, got stuck in traffic due to an accident on the highway. Okay, no problem. We will try again on Weds. We will even take an earlier bus to the other bus so if we get stuck in traffic it will be no problem. So we wake up this morning all happy and stuff and get in the van. We have the music going and the birdies are singing...stupid stinkin birdies!!!...when all of the sudden, it happens. I am moving at around 25MPH and a little old Ajimah runs out in front of me. An Ajimah is an older Korean woman. This lady was an Ajimah with a capital A. She ran right out in front of me. I couldn't avoid her. I slammed on the brakes and we all screamed. She looked up at me for a split second and then the van hit her. She was looking at me as she came down hard on the hood of the van and then she went airborne again and hit the ground. Her shoe flew off. Middle daughter, her best friend and I got out of the car. For a split second I thought she was dead. Then she started moving around so Middle daughter and best friend helped her to the curb while I got out of traffic. Then the fun started. She was moaning and crying, there was a crowd of people all speaking about me and to her in Korean, the Korean police came. Two cars full of them. (Any and all sympathy will be greatly appreciated at this point.) Thank God in the Heavens above some military police happened to be driving by and got the ball rolling on my side. I had to go to the Korean Police Station...might of shed some tears on the way. Everyone pretty much agreed I couldn't of avoided her and that she was at fault. I still have to pay for her medical...don't ask..it's a Korea thing. Sorry Korea..no hard feelings. My head is spinning with all the statements and the call to my insurance company.
After the accident and all the paper work I came home with the girls. There would be no Osan today. No shopping, no purse lady, no movie guy, no Chili's, no fajitas.
When I got home I woke up The Son. I told him what happened and he stood up to hold me for awhile. Did I mention I love that kid with a red hot fire in my soul. He kept saying it would be okay. Someone has to be the man while the Capt is gone and that kid of mine is more then up to the task. Middle daughter rubbed my back and Boo-Bear got up in my lap. If I can say anything about my kids it's that they are wonderful. We sat together as a family for awhile. Middle daughter left the police station to run home and call the Capt so he was aware of what was going on. He is a man of action and got on the horn to Walker Jen. He didn't want me to be sitting in jail by myself. Walker Jen got her three small kiddos dressed and ready (yes she is a saint!!) in case I needed her. So far I found out that the little woman broke her tail bone and that she has Alzheimer's. I cannot tell you how badly I feel.
After about an hour of sitting at home feeling very sorry for myself that my hubby is "away" Middle Daughter suggested we go and get our nails done. So we did. I'm home now and have spent about an hour on the phone with my insurance company. I've been emailing papers and going over stuff. I am now going to take a nap. If you have some time today please send some good thoughts and prayers to that little Ajimah. I'm sure she is in pain and scared. If you have some extra time could you send some my way too?? I keep seeing her face over and over again in my head.

Man I wish my hubby was here.

img_0090 src="http://thumb15.webshots.net/t/53/753/9/9/49/2324909490097238415BfTzPb_th.jpg">

This is the quilt I made for our Sal. He was The Sons best friend for a whole year. Sal and his family moved back to the States. We are still in mourning here at Chez' Owens. I got the pattern from Bonnie over at Quiltville Custom Quilting. You can see a bunch of her stuff here....http://quiltville.com/
She is such a great quilter and has set up a website so other quilters can download free patterns. Just make sure if you use any of her stuff you link back to her site. Must give credit where credit is due. :)
So thanks Bonnie for the pattern!! Sal loved it! There is nothing in the world a quilter loves more then to see tears in the eyes of a big strong guy when we present him with one of our "heart gifts".
Have a great Sunday everyone! We are off to church and then I am taking the kiddos downtown to have some pictures made.

update: oh..my..gosh. I just looked at the photo again and see the blocks in the lower right corner?? Umm.....I meant to do that. Yeah.
I CANNOT BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I made this quilt a month ago and checked it about 50 times to make sure it was perfect!!!! Why oh why do I see that mistake now?? AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am going to just say that I was going for the old quilters adage that only God makes perfect things and as a quilter I should make a small mistake in the quilt.
SHEESH!

Last day of school....

Today is the last day of school. It is official...I have two kids in High School now. One is a Senior and one is a Freshman. Our youngest is now officially in 5th grade.
I am sooooooooooooooooooooo seeing the light at the end of the tunnel here people!!!!!!
So far, this morning, all is quiet on the Western Front. No one is fighting. No one is yelling, "This shirt does not make me look like I can be bought for a dollar fifty!" The son is still in his lair so no one is yelling at him to stop breathing on them. This may be a good morning.
Wait, I spoke to soon. The boo-bear is angling for a shirt out of THE CLOSET. What is THE CLOSET you ask?? It is middle daughters happy place. It is where she can open up a door and Old Navy...Aeropostle'....and some brand with a moose that everyone here gets excited about...stare back at her and make her smile. THE CLOSET is not a place for your younger sister to be. I may have just heard her yell, "You can't wear my preccccioussssss!!"
Oh and here comes The Son. Breathing on people. Why do guys do that??! Why is that so funny to them??!
My coffee and computer time is at an end folks. I must go referee "morning time smack down". Thank God today is the last day of school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

update on the post where I talk about flirting with my hubby..

Just got off the phone with my mom. She read the post where I talk about flirting with my hubby on the phone. WHEW! I am now on restriction. I have been ordered to take the post off. I was allowed on the puter' long enough to write to the masses and tell them of my "wrongness". So masses here is a note to you:

Dear Masses,

I was wrong to write about flirting with my husband. I am a hot pants and should've been locked away in my room at 16. I was wrong and will never think about the Capt in underwear again. I had forgotten that my mother is an Irish Catholic girl and our undergarments are not something to be taken lightly.

I have been banished to my room until I say 6,000 Hail Mary's and 1,000 Our Fathers. Again, masses, I am sorry. I have deleted the post, that will now and forever more be referred to as "The post that got me in trouble with my mom."

My five minutes on the computer are up. I must go now. Until tomorrow friends, this is Dawn signing off. And for my mother, the good Irish Catholic I leave this photo...............

And this one, of me thinking about you.....

Am I forgiven now?????????????????

AHHHHHHH kiddos....

I came down with a head cold this weekend. I know it was due to "that class"! All those little crumb snatchers breathing on me and all. YUCK! So I took something to help me sleep last night and told myself, "Self, the hubby is away. It is up to us to get it together and feel better by 0800 tomorrow morning." Self just rolled it's eyes and went to sleep. This morning I awoke to the sounds of Boo-Bear and her friend. I let each of my girls have a friend over last night. They are sisters and easy to have over so it was no prob-lemo.
The next thing I knew Boo-Bear and friend come in with pancakes, scrambled eggs and juice in a wine glass. All laid out nicely on a tray. They told me they would do dishes. I just had to lay in bed and get well. Did I mention before how much I love my kiddos getting older??! The hubby called and I got to talk to him while enjoying my breakfast. I got up to come in here to the computer and they were in the hallway mopping the whole house! They've got laundry going and the kitchen is spic n' span. Did I mention how much I ADORE my kiddos growing up???!!! I think I'm just gonna hide out here and let them loose to clean my house and feed me all day long.
life is good people, real good.
Update: I just checked on the girls to see if they were washing windows yet and it seems they've lost all momentum. They are back in the room with thier feet up and watching a movie. The rugs that they moved to mop are all in a heap and some of the dishes are "soaking". I spoke to "Self" again and told her "self! We're no longer allowed to feel sick. Now get your lazy, albeit cute, tushy up and put the rugs back!!" Self just roller her eyes and went to sit on the computer. Someone needs to whip Self back into shape!! Capt, oh Capt...care to do the honors??? heeheehee (insert flirty giggles)

4th grade HELL!

Today I was a substitute for a 4th grade class I've never been in before. Before I tell you the 10 levels of HELL I lived through let me first say that I kinda dreaded going all week long. I even looked forward to the Kindergarten field day, but all week long I had this...ummmm feeling that Friday would just not be quite right. I should have had a feeling that Friday would be the longest day of my life and I should have had my finger nails pulled out one by one instead of going!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I greeted the little boogers with a cheery "Good Morning!" as they came into class. They were a little noisy but I thought to myself, no problem. I'll just go over My Own set of rules for talking and being respectful of the sub. Um-Hm. Naive little me. Class started at 8. By 8:45 I looked like this...





Still I hung in there and fought the good fight. There really were only 5 boys who gave me a hard time. It's just they did it so well! They were rude and belligerent and took razing the sub to a new level. I took away their free movie by 9. I had them put their names on yellow. (every kid starts off as a "green". As the day progresses if you have to keep telling them to be quiet or they are giving you a hard time you have them flip their names to yellow. Red means you get the principal.) I have never, NEVER! the whole year I've been a sub EVER!!!!!!!!!! had to have a child flip to red. I just don't do it. I am a firm believer in the whole...you're a sub...they are going to test you and be a little rowdy...be firm...but fair..redirect their attention when they lose focus...blah blah blah yada yada yada. Boy was I dumb!!!! When I took them to lunch I looked like this...............



Older students were coming up to me to ask if I was okay while the little monsters smirked with satisfaction. I went to the teachers lounge and the teachers had a conference whether to give me oxygen or not. I told them to "let the record show...teachers need raises!!!" I even went to the Head Honcho in Charge of Discipline to get her advice. I was beside myself that I couldn't make this work! Me!!! Wonder Sub!! Able to befriend the unfriendly...leap tall High Schoolers in a single bound...kiss boo-boos...save the fainting!! ME!!!!!!!
By the end of the day it was official. I was a broken woman. The Cho sent another sub in to take out the "offenders". There would be no movie for them. One kiddo came up to me and whispered, "we are so in trouble aren't we Mrs. Owens." I looked at him and said, "Yeah buddy, you are." and then I told him..
MAY YOU HAVE 10 JUST LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No I didn't say it...I just thought it and giggled to myself. The boys had to apologize one by one and write letters to the teacher telling on themselves. The letters were pretty funny and I took them home to keep. The teacher got the letter of her life from me. It was 2 pages long. I told The Cho to never send me back in there and then I sat by her and shivered. I walked out of class that day with shoulders slumped and looking like this...



If you have a 4th grader kiss their teachers and give presents at the end of this school year!!! Heck...if you have kiddos of any age kiss the teachers and give them presents and then set up times to picket the White House to give them salaries to rival Kobe and Shaq!!!
As for me??? I found some calgone, let it take me away and went to a going away party for our very own Walker Tiki. Walker Leigh was there as was Pretty Paige from the 4th floor. There was much dancing and we even "dropped it like it was hot" a couple of times. A good time was had by all and that night I dreamed I was in charge of all monsters under beds and in closets.....now to whose houses do you think I sent them to?????? Insert maniacal laughter wahhhhh-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!
Next week I am back to the "land of the big people" and then on Friday we are out for the summer. Thank God people!! Thank God!
Oh and to a certain someone who shall be nameless but knows who they are I have this to say......
benny, benny, benny....
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

R.N. Adventures Part Deux...

Got to be the RN today at school for the second time yesterday. Had a little coffee..got dressed...put on my fuchsia cape and off I went to face the day. Who knew it would be soooo eventful??! I was sitting in the office waiting for the first bell to ring so I could go in the teachers lounge and find a muffin when a lady came in. I was feeling very official so I told her in my best RN voice, "well good morning! Can I help you??" She looked at me and kinda slid herself over to the couch and started moaning. I wasn't feeling very official anymore so I told her that the real RN wasn't in today and an emergency wasn't really in the cards for me this morning since I hadn't had a muffin yet, could she please come back tomorrow. She didn't buy it and kept thrashing around and moaning. She told me she felt like she was gonna faint and that her head hurt. Her voice was all slurred and she looked white as a ghost. I zeroed in on her and asked her the most important question all RN's ask at these times..."You're not gonna throw up are you, cause I am a sympathy thrower-upper and I'll lose it with you if you do. Please for the love of God in the heavens above don't throw up!!!" Then I ran to get the vice-principal. We assessed the situation..which entailed the vice-principal asking her questions while I looked on and bit my nails. It was decided that the ambulance should come and that I should try and track down the hubby by phone. I had to leave a message on his work phone. Probably sounded a little something like this...
"Hello, this is Dawn..the substitute nurse for the day...your wife has fallen ill and we are sending for the ambulance. She has really inconvenienced me and totally messed with my chi, if she throws up you'd better have a chocolate chip muffin with you dude or you are sooooooo screwed!! Have a good day and Peace Out, Word To Your Mother."
Then while the lady was passed out on the couch I awaited the police and an ambulance. I had to keep the door closed for privacy sake.

side note: Yes I know I just said privacy and here I am blogging about it but if you think I'm passing up this post you are sadly mistaken!! :)

On with the story. The police come and start taking a report asking the feeling faint lady all kinds of stupid questions. I am smiling at all the people peeking in the door and feeling important. Every couple of minutes someone would poke their head around the door and whisper to me.."what's going on??" I would have to gently shake my head and tell them that they were not in the know and that they should shut the door cause they were blocking the view of all the others walking by and they were missing the opportunity to see me being important.
The lady finally got taken to the hospital and all is now well. Just a touch of dehydration. I got a muffin and life went on. Since I was now experienced with fainting and near death experiences I took it upon myself to walk the hall ways and ask teachers if they had any emergencies cause I was there for them if they did.
All in all it was a quiet day. I had to send two little one's home with some type of bug, I had a fat lip to deal with and a zillion ice packs to give out.
Today I am subbing for 4th grade. I plan on stopping each one of the little darlings at the door and asking them if they plan on having any emergencies or if they feel like they are going to throw up. If any of them say yes I am going to leave the tallest kid in charge and head to the teachers lounge in search of the biggest muffin I can find and hang out there all day long. :)
Have a great Friday everyone!!!
Peace out!

Kindergarten!

So "The Cho" called me the other day to sub. "The Cho" is the woman in charge of all the subs at school. She has our paychecks in the palm of her hand and I kiss her butt like it's my job. Ahem. Now on to the story. The Cho told me I would be the Kindergarten-helper. Did I tell you that today was FIELD DAY for K-2nd grade?? Yep. Two words that strike terror in the hearts of all substitute teachers everywhere.....field-day. Six bazillion kids hyped up on air and sunshine and you are in charge of them. Most of them come to your waist. Never let their size fool you into complacency. NEVER PEOPLE!! NEVER!!
I woke up in a bad mood. Didn't bode well for the day. The Capt is off doing important things this week and we are unable to talk first thing in the morning. My feng-shway is off if I don't hear his voice first thing. I can hear all the tiny violins playing out there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So anyway, I gulped some coffee..fought with Boo-Bear about the Britanny Spears outfit she was trying to wear...took a couple of deep breaths and headed out to face my doom. Let me just tell you right off that I was the helper to the best Kindergarten teacher in the whole world. She is the bomb and if I had a little one about to go in that grade next year you can bet your last dollar that I would be setting aside an hour a day to light a candle in the hopes that my prodigy would be getting her. She is everything a Kindergarten teacher should be. She's cute, nice as can be, and can sing Puff the Magic Dragon like nobodies business.
Everyone had to wear a t-shirt. The colors all had to match for your class. There was a t-shirt set aside for me....or it would have been for me if I was shaped like Lindsey Lohan. Yeah. I got it over my head and then started to laugh cause that was about as far as it was going. Off to the buses! We got the little crumb-snatchers to the field day area and the party began. We had stations that each group was supposed to go to. Scooters, water balloons, a big parachute and the best thing of all...............DIRT!!! We ran them ragged! I am sure not one of them managed to stay awake past 6pm. I ended up having fun.
No one is more surprised then me!!! heehee Tomorrow I am the nurse again. So never fear!! I will be on the lookout for any and all boo-boos!
Until tomorrow...this is Dawn the Super Sub signing off...besides the ice is melting in my well deserved cosmo!!
tally-ho!

I so need a massage!!! I've worked two days in a row people!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO..DAYS..IN...A...ROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I still have three more to go before I get a break!!! Who came up with the whole 5 day work week???? I want to punch him in the nose! Tomorrow I'm with Kindergarten and it's Field Day. Um-hm...playing and having fun in the sun. Sheesh! You'd think that would be a dream job or something!!??! We get to play and cheer and maybe even laugh and I might even take one for the team and partake of a juice box. I draw the line at eating cheerios at snack though. I have standards you know! I hold out for graham crackers every time. The past two days I've been with the teens. One of my classes had 6 kids and one of them had 3! I had to read magazines all day long. I HAVE EYE STRAIN!!! I tell ya, I should get paid more for all of this hard work. I only got to eat ONE muffin and I had to go without coffee. The inhumanity of it all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
heehee I love this job!!

Newsy stuff

I've got loads going on this week. I am working all of this week and part of next. It's easy stuff since school will be out in just a couple of days. Yesterday was a lot of fun. I had the older kids. Some days they are easy and some days not so much. One kid kept falling asleep. I almost asked him if he was on something. SIGH! I would just call out his name every couple of minutes and send him to get a drink of water. Today I'm the sub for the same teacher. It's a psychology class/world studies. I've read all the magazines in his book case. If anyone needs a shrink I'm your girl!! Tomorrow I've got the little ones. It's their end of year field day. It should be a blast!! Then Thursday I put on my RN cap and save the school from any and all catastrophe's. :)
Oops...running late now. Sorry this wasn't more exciting!! I'll look around for some great story today!
Have a great day everyone!!
dawn

The Prom!

The Son went to his first Prom this weekend. Boy did we have fun getting him ready! With the hubby a zillion miles away being a good Capt and supporting the Air Force it was left to me to see that The Son had all he needed. We got the suit ordered..went without a hitch. Got the tie the same color as the dress. Got the corsage and flowers for the mom. Got the haircut. The only thing left to do was for him to get all cuty-fied. First up.....the tie. Uh-oh. Stop right there. I have no idea how to do a tie. What to do????? Got it! U-TUBE!!!

Here he is, following directions, watching the video. All the while with me hopping all over the place making sure I capture this for his dad.
Second try...












Got it, but notice the biting of the lip?? We are a little nervous at this point cause the time is coming fast for him to pick her up.













Now it's time to do the whole picture thing to keep mom happy.....

He's getting into it and finally enjoying himself.
A close up just cause he's cute and by now I am a little misty eyed cause my baby is almost 18 and going to his first Prom.
Here he is thinking he is God's gift to the world. heeheehee

And finally....he's sending out a wink for his Grandmothers.

He had a great night. They went to Bennigan's to eat and the Prom was a huge success. He came home very early in the morning sleepy but happy. I, of course, waited up for him to hear all about it. I gotta tell you...it was a funny thing watching him walk towards the main street to get a taxi. I all the sudden felt choked up. I stood on our balcony watching him walk all tall and mannish with flowers and a corsage in his hands. When did he grow up on me? I felt a little lost all night long. Soon he will be leaving to make a life of his own. He'll marry and have kids. The day he leaves I will have a tiny hole in my heart. Even knowing that, while I watched him leave last night I felt so proud of the man that he is becoming.

He is my only son.

And I thank God for him.

Night everyone.