4th grade HELL!

Today I was a substitute for a 4th grade class I've never been in before. Before I tell you the 10 levels of HELL I lived through let me first say that I kinda dreaded going all week long. I even looked forward to the Kindergarten field day, but all week long I had this...ummmm feeling that Friday would just not be quite right. I should have had a feeling that Friday would be the longest day of my life and I should have had my finger nails pulled out one by one instead of going!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I greeted the little boogers with a cheery "Good Morning!" as they came into class. They were a little noisy but I thought to myself, no problem. I'll just go over My Own set of rules for talking and being respectful of the sub. Um-Hm. Naive little me. Class started at 8. By 8:45 I looked like this...





Still I hung in there and fought the good fight. There really were only 5 boys who gave me a hard time. It's just they did it so well! They were rude and belligerent and took razing the sub to a new level. I took away their free movie by 9. I had them put their names on yellow. (every kid starts off as a "green". As the day progresses if you have to keep telling them to be quiet or they are giving you a hard time you have them flip their names to yellow. Red means you get the principal.) I have never, NEVER! the whole year I've been a sub EVER!!!!!!!!!! had to have a child flip to red. I just don't do it. I am a firm believer in the whole...you're a sub...they are going to test you and be a little rowdy...be firm...but fair..redirect their attention when they lose focus...blah blah blah yada yada yada. Boy was I dumb!!!! When I took them to lunch I looked like this...............



Older students were coming up to me to ask if I was okay while the little monsters smirked with satisfaction. I went to the teachers lounge and the teachers had a conference whether to give me oxygen or not. I told them to "let the record show...teachers need raises!!!" I even went to the Head Honcho in Charge of Discipline to get her advice. I was beside myself that I couldn't make this work! Me!!! Wonder Sub!! Able to befriend the unfriendly...leap tall High Schoolers in a single bound...kiss boo-boos...save the fainting!! ME!!!!!!!
By the end of the day it was official. I was a broken woman. The Cho sent another sub in to take out the "offenders". There would be no movie for them. One kiddo came up to me and whispered, "we are so in trouble aren't we Mrs. Owens." I looked at him and said, "Yeah buddy, you are." and then I told him..
MAY YOU HAVE 10 JUST LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No I didn't say it...I just thought it and giggled to myself. The boys had to apologize one by one and write letters to the teacher telling on themselves. The letters were pretty funny and I took them home to keep. The teacher got the letter of her life from me. It was 2 pages long. I told The Cho to never send me back in there and then I sat by her and shivered. I walked out of class that day with shoulders slumped and looking like this...



If you have a 4th grader kiss their teachers and give presents at the end of this school year!!! Heck...if you have kiddos of any age kiss the teachers and give them presents and then set up times to picket the White House to give them salaries to rival Kobe and Shaq!!!
As for me??? I found some calgone, let it take me away and went to a going away party for our very own Walker Tiki. Walker Leigh was there as was Pretty Paige from the 4th floor. There was much dancing and we even "dropped it like it was hot" a couple of times. A good time was had by all and that night I dreamed I was in charge of all monsters under beds and in closets.....now to whose houses do you think I sent them to?????? Insert maniacal laughter wahhhhh-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!
Next week I am back to the "land of the big people" and then on Friday we are out for the summer. Thank God people!! Thank God!
Oh and to a certain someone who shall be nameless but knows who they are I have this to say......
benny, benny, benny....
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha