Saturday, February 06, 2010

Ahhhh sucketh this week.

The hubby has been gone this week doing Major-ish things. I've been holding down the fort with the kiddos which means I get to watch what I want on TV and sleep on the couch......ever vigilant for things that go bump in the night. He calls me every night which is really nice. What did we do in the days without cell phones I ask ya?? Anyway, there I was the other night. Sitting on the couch watching TV with my laptop in my lap and some goldfish crackers by my side. Waiting for him to call. When the phone rang I hopped on there with a very perky "Hey there baby-cakes!" We talked for awhile and then he says to me, "Listen, I have some bad/good news." I'm thinking he's going to tell me that they are being delayed and have to stay a couple of days longer. Ahhhh if only. He tells me that his number has come up and he is being deployed. The good news? He only has to go for around 8 months. Not 12 or 15.

I have now re-read that sentence a total of 5 times. I am trying to get my brain around it. Hmmm. Carrying on.....after he drops that bomb I sit there. Those goldfish crackers are no longer looking as yummy as they did a mere 5 minutes ago. What to say? We sit in silence for a bit. Both of us trying to absorb what this means.

This is a scenario that has played out on telephones.....emails.......face to face conversations...for 9 years now. The other night it was my turn to be all strong and supportive. I really really really didn't want to be. I wanted to ask if this could be a mistake. Or could he call someone and tell them no. Neither one being an option I asked him how he felt. He says he feels good, that it's his turn to go and when it's your turn to go, you go and that it will go fast and we have email and Skype and it will all be okay. Also he says it's not like he will be on the front lines or driving a tank like so many of our young men and women. In my heart I am saying that sure I know that and yeah that is such a great thing but you will be gone. Who will put their foot on mine right before we go to sleep? Who but he understands my love of mint chocolate chip ice cream? Who will I read to at night? And don't forget the kids. They adore him. How will I tell them their father is going "over there." ??????? When we were about to hang up he asked me if I was okay and then he said he loved me very much. I told him I loved him too and that yes, I was okay. I know what it means to be a military wife. He said he would call me in the morning and we said goodbye. I laid on the couch and wondered what to think. No, I didn't enjoy any more goldfish crackers.

I told the kids yesterday. The oldest was strong. He may be over there as well soon.Yeah, not even thinking about that right now. Our 17 year old absorbed the news and went upstairs to be alone. The Boo-Bear sobbed in my arms. She asked me who would watch Sanford and Son with her while he was gone. Would he have to carry a gun. Would people be shooting at her daddy.

Another conversation women have been having for toooo many years now.

This my friends out in blogland is what military spouses do. We support. We pack suitcases. We worry and pray. We hold our children while they try and make sense of things. We walk around with the phone attached to our hip so we don't miss a phone call. We write letters full of everything is fine and yes, we are all okay. We hold down the fort and try to make a life full of change a little bit more constant.

Now it's my turn.
Someone pass the M&Ms.


quiltmamajb said...

Wow - I clicked on to get my daily laugh-out-loud moment with Dawn...instead I had an almost-cry-out-loud session. You are so amazing - I don't know if I would have the strength. Your husband is a wonderful man to do what he does - and he can because he has you for a partner. God bless you all during this time. I feel like my words are so inadequate. You embody what it means to be a wife and mother. If I could, I'd drive to Ohio with a truckload of M&M's.....piece.

Kelly Ann said...

all the words spoken like a true military wife...hopefully the 8 months will fly by and he'll be home stealing your goldfish and m&m's...

Michelle said...

Just know that I will be here for you, listening, laughing, praying...whatever you need.
We are all so proud of your hubby....and you.
be blessed,

Johanna said...

A HUGE HUG! And I mean a HUGE HUG.

My husband was called up when the war first started and in the pre-deployment stage, he was found not fit to go into a war zone due to a knee injury.

I remember crying so hard when I found out he was going and crying equally as hard when I found out he wasn't going. He wanted to serve his country and I was incredibly selfish in not wanting to share him.

I cannot imagine how hard it will be when you say goodbye as he goes off, but know we are all out here cheering you and him on.

He will make you incredibly proud in the end and you will make us proud of you.


dianne said...

yeah ... yes ... yes, HUGE HUG ... yes, proud ... everything that everyone else has said ... and ... and ... and i hate it when someone i love tells me he/she has good news/bad news ... because the good news is never as good as the bad news is bad ... and now my throat is all lumpish for you and ...... and what do you need? what can i do to help?

Lauren The Artist said...

8 months will fly by. (that's what I'm supposed to say) And you do live just up the road from me... we should get together and go to quilt shops and eat Ritters Custard while he's away.

QuiltingFitzy said...

It's what they do. We love them for who they are and what they need to do.

My dd#3 will be home in less than 100. Good news/badnews for us too, she'll be home for 15mo. and go off again.

We are strong. That's why we're here.

Big girl panty time, make mine XXL.


Chocolate Cat said...

I am so proud of you for being so strong for your family. I promise to be here on the other end of the computer (or on the phone) if you need. I'll also talk to the girls if you like about keeping Mum in chocolate! It sure does suck though xx

Jodi said...

I am so sorry Dawn. I cannot even imagine how hard that would be.

If I could I would send you a pool-ful of m&m's.


And thanks goes out to you and your hubby for all the sacrifices you will make to keep the US free.

blue hose said...

Why do they always drop that little bit of news over the phone? If you need to escape, feel free to head south for the "winter"! We'll be praying it flies by faster than you can blink and know he'll be safe in God's hands.

QuiltinLibraryLady said...

Wow, not exactly what one wants to hear. I know it's what military families live through, but really after nine years you'd think it would be over. Even the two World Wars only lasted half that long. I'll be sending positive thoughts your family's way. Hugs.

Jenna said...

Speaking as a spouse who is currently going through a deployment of 12's hard and it's not. There are days I just wished he were here...just for adult conversation! We're half way through. I'll get to see him for his R&R in 37 days...not that I'm counting or anything!

I'll pray for you and your family! If you ever need to talk, give me a call...303-459-4416 or 808-232-6771. I'd call you, but don't have your number! Hugs to you and yours!!

Tracey @ozcountryquiltingmum said...

I'm teary in Australia just thinking of it!! poor, poor dawn, I will be thinking of you all night...get chocolate!Lots of Love Traceyxxx

Mary Johnson said...

8 months is a long, long time. Keith is gone a lot but rarely more than a week at a time and with many of our moves we've been apart at least a month but 8 months is a long time.

I also know that you'll have lots more to worry about while he's gone.

How much time will you have before he leaves?

mascanlon said...

Oh my dear one. We will be strong with you too. A few tears as I read this posting for all our strong military families but most of all for you and yours today. Hugs! And I'll send m & ms....the ice cream will be a bit harder (actually softer I suppose if i sent it)

Leigh said...

I know that you can do this, it was what WE train for. Having just gone through this, making it through and surviving it, YOU CAN DO IT!

There are good days and bad days and I promise, with the technology they have today, you will probably get tired of talking to him everyday!

I will be, just as you were for me, here for YOU!

Anonymous said...

Your brother just told me the news and I am thinking about you guys! I will be praying for you and Kareem and the kids too. As you probably know, we have been dealing with our own small version of separation down this way too...and it is hard on everyone (especially the baby who does not understand AT ALL) so I can't even imagine how tough 8 months would be. You are strong so I know you will do just fine. We miss all of you and love you all lots. p.s. your brother LOVES Stephen King and frequently has books around the house...nothing has gotten us yet. LOVE, POLLY

Stephanie D said...

Well, I guess this means you're gonna have to scare off the Serial Killers at Your Door all by yourself, huh. That truly doth suck.

I know it's small consolation for all of us non-military wives to say how much we appreciate you and him and all military families, but I don't know what to say that would make you feel better.

Wanna come visit NC?

Stephanie D said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
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