Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Learning to listen...and hear.

Tonight I felt a disturbance in the force at Chez' Owens. I knew that one of my young ones were hurting about something. (using "young one" to protect the identity of said child :) )
Anyway, I went to the "young one's" room and tried to ask questions that would get him/her to open up and tell me what was wrong. Let me tell you out there that getting a teen (okay that narrowed it down some) to tell you their feelings is a feat next to impossible. I persevered. My young one started talking...and talking...we talked for over an hour. Well, the young one did most of the talking. Lauren told me once that as a parent I need to learn to listen and hear...not listen and try to fix things for them. Sometimes as a parent our job is just to let them know that we are hurting with them, let them get things off of their chest and then keep what we've learned to ourselves. Do not under any circumstances run to the phone and tell your friends! Trust broken is hard to get back. I hugged my young one after everything was out of him/her. After they took a shower he/she came to me and gave me a hug and said something I will treasure forever. This child of my heart said, "thanks mom, I know that at first I didn't want to talk but I really feel better now." Then I got a hug. Who needs diamonds?? I sit here with tears in my eyes thanking God for how blessed I am. These next couple of years are going to be doozies! I have two teens and one trying her hardest to get there fast. I know that as soon as one of them is settled and happy another one will come up to the plate and be miserable. I will need to practice listening and hearing. I will need to pray for them more. I will need to love unreservedly. And at the end, when they are grown and happy my rewards will be when they call me and tell me, "thanks mom." Who can ask for more then that. People let me share something with you...the world is a hard place that will take great delight in knocking our children down. It is our job to pick them up, dust them off and help carry them the rest of the way. Let home be a place where they come to feel at peace. Let home be a place they come to cause they feel loved. The world will teach them how to be tough, we as mothers need to show them how to love and feel good about themselves. I practiced that tonight and I have to tell you...when my "baby" hugged me with a smile on his/her just makes you feel good.
good night all.


Aunt Joan said...

That's the wonderful thing about "YOU" Dawn, You live for your kids, and someday they will know that "all" the decisions that you have made was for "them". We parents always put our children first. They only get that when they have children of their own(as we did). You are a terrific mother.and your kids get that even if they "don't tell you.
Love you

Rebekah said...

You are the most amazing mommy ever...thank you for being a great example for the rest of us...I have learned so much from you! LOVE AND MISS YOU MY FRIEND!