Friday, August 01, 2008

Close...Much To Close...

The girls and I have been together for five weeks...add our men to the mix and wellllllllll it gets a little cramped. Not that I would change it for anything in the world but man oh man are my kids loud and messy and loud and ummmmmmmmm loud.

Today we had to leave the off-base hotel to go to the on-base hotel. See, the military will only pay for an off-base hotel if there is no room at the on-base hotel..still with me?? This is why I love you.

Back to my story....the Capt goes in to get our key after we'd been in the car for a lovely two hours. Our off-base hotel kicked us out at 2 and the on-base hotel wouldn't let us in til 4. My cat?? He was mightily disagreeable to this arrangement and let us know in no uncertain terms he was not used to such treatment and would not be forgiving us any time soon. To say my head was splitting was an understatement. When the Capt still hadn't come out after 10 minutes I figured something had gone wrong and I pitied the poor fool who was in there telling him he needed to go back to his car and drive around some more. Did I mention that we had to turn the rental van in and get a smaller car?? No?? Oh. Let me mention it now. There was one back seat. One. O.N.E. This seat had to fit my 18 year old testosterone filled 15 year old daughter full of angst and "why me's" and every ones favorite Boo-Bear who had a touch of ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm let me just say it..she had gas. Horrible gas. It was eating away at our skin. This caused much

Stop it!!
You stink!!!
Stop talking to me!!!
You're touching me!!!
Stop moving the dog!!
Get the dog on your side!!!
Where is dad??? (oh, that was me)

I listened to this for the whole 10 minutes, plus the dog was crying and the cat was meowing loudly. Finally I snapped. I turned around and said, very calmly I might add, I said..... "I hate all of you now shut up mo-fo's!!!"
Cue the calls of mothers everywhere shouting "YOU GO GIRLFRIEND!!!"

Now did my kids cower in fear?? Did they get their feelings hurt?? No. No they didn't. They looked at each other and burst out laughing. They laughed off and on for 5 minutes. Yes, I counted. This my friends is why mothers eat their young.

Peace out Mo-Fo's


Lauren The Artist said...

Numero Uno Homie, right here! That was too funny. We'll know its bad if you take out a classified ad "REWARD: seeking the safe return of my sanity." Heh. Soon you will be moved in and the fabulous move-of-all-time will be behind you. Hang in there! ~jen~

Chocolate Cat said...

You waited 10 minutes to snap and then said it calmly!!!??? I am impressed, I would of left the car and walked after 5 minutes....

Sweet P said...

Been there . . . done that! I'm a former Navy wife. I remember those days between leaving a base and getting set up in a new one. You handled it well!

So, did you get into the hotel?

Leigh said...

Girl, my head just spun around! I could see you spin around and say all of that!