Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Oh the Horror!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went with a friend of mine to the local hospital off-base today so she could have what the rest of us were referring to as "the booby squish." Yep, she had to have a mammogram. I'm not using her name here as I do not want to embarrass her. I am not into embarrassing people I care about as you can tell from me letting the world know my youngest started her ummmmm You Know What. heehee
Anyway, back to the story. 4 of us met at Starbucks to start the day off right. Then my friend and I went to her appt while the other two went across the street to the market. Now let me tell you that this isn't just any ole' hospital. This is like stepping back in time. Not to offend a whole country but I gotta tell ya, it's tough on us Americans to go there. We are used to cleanliness and mucho privacy. Where you can walk down the hallway and not see people carrying their own urine bags or my personal favorite, the blood bag. Or while you are waiting for the elevator you are standing next to a person who obviously has come from major surgery and is shaking from the effects of anesthesia AND NOT EVEN COVERED UP. People will come in crowds to see what you are there for and watch your treatment. It's like live TV for them. There is nothing like having stitches while 10 strangers stand around and watch all while smacking on some gum.
This was not an appt I was willing to miss. I needed some blog material!
We get to the hospital and my friend informs me we need to go to the International Ward. I, of course, inform the people around us that we are headed to the International Ward. They didn't speak any English but looked properly impressed.
My friend fills out her paper work and our liaison takes us up a flight of stairs to the mammogram room. I am to wait for her in the waiting area. She is gone for 10 minutes. 10 minutes ladies!!! They don't fool around here! During that 10 minutes I amused myself by watching the toothless gentlemen who had his choice of 5 comfortable chairs but decided to sit right next to me. I just knew he was full of flesh eating bacteria and was trying to share some of it with me. When my friend came out of the door no one was happier to be out of the waiting area then I was. Forget her having to have a mammogram, it was all about me at this point!
We headed back downstairs so she could check out. As we walked back down the hallway towards the exit I almost got lost in a crowd of people headed to the emergency area. Now this is the place that strikes fear in even the hardiest of military wives. You do not want to go to this hospitals emergency area. It is just a large open bay. There are no curtains to section off areas. If someone comes in and has lost a limb they bleed right next to you. There are people with open sores thre.....people who have been in serious accidents sitting in chairs waiting to be seen. I did not want to go there. I looked up from the crowd of people and yelled to my friend not to leave me with all the terror in my soul making my voice shake. She came running and grabbed my hand then took off for safety. We made it out the front door and never has the aroma of kimche smelled so good. We inhaled for a while and then walked quietly to her car. Welllll maybe we giggled a little and maybe we snorted once or twice cause we giggled so hard..hmmmm maybe. :)
Never was a mammogram such an adventure!


Leigh said...

I love it! What an awesome friend you are!

QuiltingFitzy said...

You can tell it was antiquated, you had to take the STAIRS!

On the other hand, mine is next week at a mobile unit at the library, lol. Quite the contrast.

Elaine Adair said...

Groooossssssss! A Memogram is icky under the BEST of conditions - and I still don't want to do it. Icky hospital! My Mother said to stay healthy, stay away from Doctors and Hospitals -- That's where you go to get sick. Mom is 92, and still kicking! Was she right?