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Wednesday, January 09, 2008

The place where dreams go to die...

For the past two days I've been getting up at o'dark thirty (10 to 5) and hitting the gym. I had been working out all summer long and got some things tighter then they had been before. As soon as school started and I went back to subbing I stopped the work outs. The things that had been tighter then before?? They slid to one side and plopped down on the floor and ran out of the room. Nothing is tight. Nothing is firm. Things are jiggly. I decided to take the bull by the horns and do something...anything about it.
Did you know that there are mirrors everywhere at the gym??? Did you know that when you try to run/jog...let's get honest here....flop around and breath heavy, that you can no longer live in a dream land where your boobies are perky and your stomach has a 6 pack??
My dreams died today folks. It wasn't pretty. There I was, minding my own business. Working out. Doing a brisk walk on the treadmill. I looked over to the right and saw this poor woman with a red face and a saggy behinny. I felt sorry for the woman and for a second I was glad she wasn't me...til I realized I was looking in a mirror!
Sigh..poor poor me.
Sigh......poor poor disillusioned me
Send help
I need Oprah's personal trainer...
and her chef....
and her stylist........
sigh

4 comments:

The Jen said...

**post hijack**

When I'm at the gym, on the treadmill, I always have this strange feeling that I'm being followed. I look around. I use the mirrors and I think to myself, "surely no one is right behind me, its a treadmill for goodness sakes!" Then I see it- As honest as the day is long ITS A GIANT BUTT RIGHT THERE BEHIND ME! Its trying to catch up with the rest of me, but cannot as its just jiggling along, uncontrollably! Darned if those mirrors don't point out the craziest stuff. I never look back there??? But yes, I'm being followed by my giant BUTT!!!

The gym is wonderful. Now if I keep going, I can shake my stalker. :)

~jen~

The Jen said...

ps- Great work getting to the gym. Summer is right around the corner and we need to be fit for our big moves!
~jen~

JudyL said...

Yep, I'm right there with you. As I was working out tonight, I wondered who had the bright idea to put those darned mirrors all over the place anyway.

Pam said...

I totally know the feeling! Back at Curves for me...no mirrors, thankfully!