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Monday, January 28, 2008

Things you learn from parenting day by day...

Today was schedule change for my older kids at school. The year is already half over! Middle Daughter went to the cafeteria to get hers and as she walked up to the table to see if hers was ready the counselor spoke loudly about getting in line, waiting your turn and some other stuff. Since she looked her way my daughter thought she was talking to her. Now instead of going to the back of the line or telling the counselor that she was just looking my lovely daughter says out loud, "calm down." Hmmmmmmmmmm The counselor was on the other side of the room...it's not a big cafeteria...and she has a very strong personality. But. But. I say again...but...that was no excuse for my precious one to mouth off. Man! The counselor had her go up to her office and by that time my daughter had control of her faculties enough to say a bunch of yes ma'ams. Then she came home at lunch to tell me what happened. I wasn't very happy. I was calm and let her tell me the whole story and only asked a couple of questions. Then I re-explained our policy....if a teacher is being, in any way shape or form, crabby with you or loud with you or is talking to you in a way you don't like, call us. Be polite. It's a grown up. Then call us. We will handle it. I promise you, we will. (this in no way means they should take abuse, physical or verbal. Then they are to leave ASAP and head to the office to call me or their father so the gates of Hell can be opened and the teacher will feel the wrath of the ages on their faces!)
There are always two sides to every story and we like to get both before we act. Sometimes it's the kids fault. Contrary to popular opinion these days it is really sometimes the kids fault. Sometimes it's the teacher and you need to step in as a parent to help your child or back them up. Today it was my daughters fault. She told me she knew she should go and apologize again. I told her I'd be there with her. It's our job as a parent to be standing next to our kids as they make mistakes. It's how they grow and learn and feel secure in their place in the world. I feel strongly about that. I also said some other stuff but, well you mom's can probably guess that I was one un-happy camper with her.
I went to the counselors office later on in the day. I think she thought I was going to fight with her. I didn't. I apologized for my daughter and then told her she would be meeting us and she would apologize for herself. I told her I totally agreed that my progeny was in the wrong. When my daughter came in she apologized for herself and said it would never happen again. I was really proud of the little butt-head! Then the counselor talked to her a bit and gave her a big hug. Then we hugged. Then as I walked home with my little "pride and joy" she put her arm through mine and said she was sorry to me and thanked me for coming with her. It ended up being a good learning experience for her. So many days as a mom I feel like I maybe missed it. Today I felt like I did good. And you know what else, after all is said and done, my baby stepped up and did good too.

That's all you can ask as a parent.

8 comments:

The Jen said...

I'm not looking forward to those days of teen parenting. Good work, though. ~jen~

Leigh said...

You did awesome! And so did your girl. I saw the counselor in question tonight and was just friendly, because I didn't know what had happened yet! YEAH! for you!

QuiltingFitzy said...

Great job of control, and/or recovery.

My kids always knew if they told me what happened RIGHT AWAY (aka, before the teacher got to me first) they'd be in WAY less trouble, lol. It may have not been the best idea...but it worked.

I am glad to see your daughter's recognition of your effort!

Pam said...

How can they learn if they don't make mistakes? How can they learn to correct their mistakes if they are not guided? You did awesome mom...Middle Daughter has a class act to learn grace and humility from.

Pam@
www.pamgwillim.com

Colleen Eskridge almost formerly of South Africa said...

Way to go Dawn, I actually had a few teachers thank me over the years for NOT always assuming they were in the wrong!(the teachers) I won't divulge which of my kids I heard that about...but I think you have met him!....er....them. :o) Colleen....packing in Africa....yeah!

The Jen said...

Thats funny, Coll. Heh.

Rebekah said...

You are the best mom... I am always learning from you!

Elaine Adair said...

Good job, Mama! Not always easy to go slowly, with judgment and good sense, when it's about your kids .