Thursday, July 24, 2008

I'm gonna blow! (not a post for the Rents' to read)

Dear Customs Officer,

Hello. My name is Dawn. There seems to be some misunderstanding on your part as to when to release the van. Let me clarify things for you.

The van came into port two...count them...TWO weeks ago. It is just sitting there, doing nothing but waiting for my hubby to come and collect it. I understand that you have a job to do and do not appreciate it when people call you a pinhead. Even if that's totally what you are. I'm just saying.

I can give you my word that there are no drugs being transported in the van. Nope. No drugs. Nor any bombs. I spend to much money on fabric to waste a penny on drugs or bombs. In light of this new information I am sure that you can, in good conscience, release it tomorrow morning so that my hubby can pick it up and get his cute little behinny in said van and drive to get me. I must tell you, in confidence dear Sir that if I don't get a kiss from my hubby soon...well let me just say that there will be some trouble. I don't know what, but there will be some. My legs are shaved...I have a cute rockin new hair cut, some cute new clothes...ooh note to self; go to mall tomorrow and get something tantalizing from Victoria Secrets.....can you see the state I am in?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I am a woman with needs, sir, NEEDS!!!! I have been without my cute lil' hubby for almost 4 weeks. Do you think the internets want to read about my needs?? No, they do not. Alas, it is all I can think about so here I sit. Posting about them. Partaking of a small (heehee) cranberry and vodka cocktail. Sighing over my hubby. I am warning you Sir, I am a woman on the edge and I'm not afraid to blog about it. I mean have you met my hubby???? He's a hottie. (insert flirty giggle)

Hmph. Consider this your last warning.



Chocolate Cat said...

You've just given me a laugh! I feel much better now! Thanks...

Jodi said...

Oh my! You are too funny!

That pinhead better release the van soon. LOL

Leigh said...

Here's to you girl! Don't worry he will be there soon. Will there be some seismic activity on Sunday evening? You know that I am about 1,000 miles from you!!!!