Friday, January 09, 2009

Ummmm Okay.

It is a fact of nature that when your military spouse goes TDY that things happen. Now I know you are sitting there thinking what is a TDY and how does my hubby go on one?? A TDY stands for "Times When Your Mate Is Away In Sometimes Parts Unknown And Sometimes Parts Known But Really This Does Not Matter Because Prepare For The Universe To Laugh In Your Face And Make Things Go Awry" See this is when we military spouses really need to gird our loins. Washing machines will overflow. Cars will break. Children will become sick and need to be bundled up and taken to the ER in the middle of the night. In the middle of the night when it is dark and stormy. With burglars around every corner waiting to get you. Oh, and speaking of nighttime....there will be times at night when your dog will begin to bark at the window just to mess with your mind and you will wake up terrified with the knowledge that the people from The Strangers are sitting out there peeking at you. Let us not even begin to talk about the loneliness. Yours and theirs. Of course things are easier for the one who stays home because they have their fabulous children to keep them company. Mine keep me amused by fighting from the time The Capt gets on the plane til the time he gets home or I shock them into silence when I stab myself in the eye with a pencil. heh. Good times. When my hubby left for this TDY it was with the knowledge that yesterday our van broke....yes this is the van we picked up from the car fixy place because I got into an accident during the last TDY. Seems they forgot to fix the door openy thingie. Oh, and last night as I was watching some TV trying to stay out of his way while he packed, our brand new flat screen got all these pretty blue lines across it and while I stared at it with my mouth open it did this bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz noise and shut off.
It. Fried. Itself.
As the hubby was leaving this morning he tried to explain to me what to tell the car guys and begged me not to say anything like fixy or openy. He begged while his eye got a twitch.

Side note: I figure the car fixer dudes get what they get by way of explanation from me since they didn't do their mechanical stuff right in the first place and anyway, they are car fixy guys and probably speak wife. End Side note.

As for the TV?? Can't buy one til he gets home since every wife out there knows that whatever TV I buy will not be the right one. It will not have the amount of pixelly things needed for good contrast. Or whatever pixelly things do. sigh. God please help me in the morning trying to get The Boo-Bear ready for school without her morning fix of Sabrina the Teen Age Witch.

When I dropped the hubby off I noticed that they got THE PLANE. Sometimes while the team he is on goes on a TDY they get this plane. It comes with first class seats for every man and woman. They get fresh made cookies, right after take off, that are still warm from the oven and they get a........wait for it ladies.....THEY GET A BUTLER! I just...I can't...who...wait...ummmmmmmmmm yeah. A butler. While I was trying to figure out how to make the store take the the broken TV back and give me my money my darling one was eating cookies given to him by a butler.

I am off to contemplate my life as a stay at home mom while in a hot bubble bath calmly sipping a glass of wine whilst listening to Enrique Iglesias sing to me about wanting to be my Hero. Then I will try to sleep on the couch with one eye peeking out my window. Someone needs to be on the lookout for all the boogey men that roam near and far.


Anonymous said...

That is so totally true!!! Everything is hunky-dorey until the hubby leaves...then Carrie shows up shutting doors and making water come out of places it shouldn't. My hubby d leaves at the end of the month for 10 days...Fun, fun, fun!

Mary Johnson said...

I hear you. I can't tell you how many times I was in the ER all night while Keith was at a business meeting (usually being held at very, very nice resorts, with rooms on the ocean and such). I hope you haven't jinxed me - Keith will be gone a good part of this month.

Lauren The Artist said...

I do agree with the TDY-syndrome. When mine is out of town, ONE of my trio winds up with a fever and yak everywhere. But I'm still hung on the word BUTLER. Seriously?? WOW. I'm in. I want to ride on that plane. What do I have to do? Who do I have to email??? hee hee.

Chocolate Cat said...

Seriously shouldn't it be the stay at home partners that get to fly on a plane with a butler!!! and cookies - sorry warm cookies!!!! Hope nothing else goes wrong this time that the Captn is away and say whatever you like to the car fixy people, dumb sometimes is better, their problem to fix it!!!!

Colleen formerly of South Africa said...

I swear...think it must be perfect timing...for things to happen when the "man" is away. I always looked forward to a good sew-in...when my hubby would go somewhere. But seemed like the car/or kid broke... and plans out the window. Hope all is well for you and the family now.

Norma said...

Oh, this reminds me of when my DH went TDY to Florida. He called me in Utah, to tell me what great fun they were having fishing off a dock when they weren't on call. I was stuck in base housing in Utah with two sick litle kids and it had rained for five days. I will say it was not the best phone call we ever had. Then after the AF, he had a job traveling. His boss called me to tell me to call him in Paris. Ok, now it was three teenagers, a dead battery, a water heater leak and mac and cheese.